TBBT Se 02: The Codpiece Topology

Episode 2

Leonard: You went out and bought linen?
Sheldon: Don't be silly. I borrowed one of your pillow cases.

***
Sheldon: Notify the editors of the Oxford English dictionary. The word "plenty' has been redefined to mean "two".

***
Raj: What about leslie Winkle?
Sheldon: Oh, no.
Raj: Why?
Sheldon: Her research methodology is sloppy, she's unjustifiably arrogant about loop quantum gravity, and to make matters worse, she's often mean to me.

***
Howard: You mean like you and Richard the slave girl?
Raj: I bought him dinner and we kissed once. That was it! ...and he told me his name was Kimberly!

***
Sheldon: You know how I know we're not in the Matrix?
Leonard: How?
Sheldon: If we were, the food would be better.

***
Leslie: Hey dummy.
Sheldon: Hello to you, insufficiently
intelligent person.
Leslie: Oooh, rush me to the burn unit.

***
Leslie: So I heard your relationship with Penny crashed the ground like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory.
Leonard: Where did you hear that?
Leslie: Actually I read it. Wolowitz texted me.

***
Leonard: Sounds fun.
Leslie: I'll leave the details up to you. I think its better if you assume the male role.
Leonard: Thank you, that's very thoughtful.

***
Leonard: Sheldon, it's a date. I have a date coming over.
Sheldon: Oh. Well you cna't blame for jumping to that conclusion.
Leonard: Why? What is so unusual about me having a date?
Sheldon: Well, statistically speaking...
Leonard: Allright, alright.

***
Leonard: ...you know, make yourself scarce.
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates, and an IQ which can't be accurately measured by normal tests. How much scarcer could I be?

***
Sheldon: You want me to leave the apartment?
Leonard: Yes
Sheldon: You want to just go someplace else and be someplace else?
Leonard: Yes

***
Leonard: And if science ever discovers a second member of your species and you two would like to have some privacy I'd be more than happy to get out of your way.
Sheldon: Well, alright then.

***
Penny: Sheldon, you are a smart guy. You must...
Sheldon: Smart? I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as smart.